Jumping In

When I was a little girl, my parents signed me up for swimming lessons as neither of them were strong swimmers and they both felt that it was important that I learn to swim.  I had no idea what was involved in swimming lessons, so off I went on the city bus to the local city pool and unquestioningly stood in line.  I was really excited to be there, and the thought of playing in the water with a bunch of new friends seemed like the best idea ever!

Unbeknownst to me, I was in the line-up for the more advanced swimmers and that day was the day that they were being tested on their abilities to jump into the deep end waters of the pool.  There didn’t seem to be a lot of details or instructions being given other than the burly looking sergeant major of a lifeguard standing by the edge of the pool yelling “next”.

As the line-up advanced and my turn was becoming imminent, I felt fearful and watched the whole process with trepidation.  My stomach slowly began to lurch somewhere up around where my heart and lungs were.  It never occurred to me to speak up and tell someone that I was in the wrong line up; I think I was probably too overwhelmed.  My mind was playing out scenarios and telling me that I didn’t know what to do, that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t like the others and then my guides were telling me that I would be fine.  The inevitable moment arrived, it was my turn to jump in and I was sure this was it – I was going to die.

Being all of 6 years old, I didn’t have a lot of information on dying, and dying at that time in my life meant that I would miss my earth friends and family, riding my bike faster than Roger Ramjet, chalking on the sidewalk and playing with my Penny Brite doll.  It also meant that I would be able to freely be with my guides and spirit friends and family, and we could fly and dance and read and play all day long as there was no night-time or bed-time!

“Neeeexxxxxttttt” shouted the lifeguard and he was looking right down at me.  I remember trying to open my mouth to say something and then in the next moment I was jumping in.  Gratefully I had the presence to close my mouth and down into the deep end waters I went.  It felt like forever, everything was in slow motion and amplified by the fact that I had what felt like the entire swimming pool’s water up my nose.  I remember opening my eyes and being amazed at all of the bubbles and how pretty they looked and how I felt like I was merging into this beautiful aquamarine colour.  I could feel the comfort of my guides, spirit friends and family and I just knew that everything was going to be more than fine.  I was really enjoying myself, laughing and smiling and then I sensed the energy power-up around me and wooooosh, I was surfacing out of the water and looking right into the face of … the lifeguard!

Ah, so much for my dying experience (which became one of many more to come).  What I did learn was that I could jump into very deep waters way over my head, and, I would always come back to the surface with a different experience.  I also learned to become a very skilled diver as well as a passionate synchronized swimmer.  Most of all, I learned that all I had to do was focus on when to breathe, trust, relax, and take it all in because just when I thought it could all be over, it would be, but not how I thought it would be.

Our life journey will bring us experiences that are very much like jumping into waters that are very deep and unknown.  Jumping into your fear makes you realize very quickly that you won’t “die” but you will die to your fear and come out with a perspective that you never thought possible.  Now, there is a clear distinction between fear and danger and you must trust yourself on the difference – I will leave that up to your individual discernment!

So, the next time you experience the sensation of fear (False Evidence Appearing Real), jump in, you will scare the daylights out of yourself, release your fear and embrace a new experience.  The fear of fear is worse than the fear itself.  Transform fear into Love; fear is simply a lack of understanding and compassion.  Jump in, jump into the deepest darkest part of your life and be amazed as you transform your experience into Love.

Leaving you with peace, love, understanding, awareness and wisdom (and of course, big hugs and butterfly kisses).

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.”  – Jim Morrison

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.” – Paulo Coelho

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  – Nelson Mandela